Female dogs

So one of the new years resolutions I set for myself is to "try not to bitch as much to others" (not technically set in paper, but its been a continuous goal for years). Excessive bitching is a habit that dies hard. Because we all know how girls can be. We can't seem to run out of things to bitch about. And who really wants to listen to my sob story of how i can never shape one eyebrow to perfectly match the other one. Or how I can't pay attention in lecture because of the thousand pound pile of lard sitting to my left, who is breathing as if she's making sure all of China can hear her. It echoes throughout the classroom. I wish I could tell her my grade is suffering because of it. Though she'd probably just get angry and eat me.

But i digress...

Truth is, I just love bitching way too much. I simply can't get enough of it. It satisfies me like no man ever could. And when another person agrees with you, OH GOD it makes my body ache with ecstasy.

And so in the spirit of all this, I would just like to say that i am officially disgusted with eating Jack-in-the-Crack. It aggravates my bowels. And after having it multiple days consecutively, I've had to hold in farts for hours. Because these farts meant business. It was the roll down the window quick kinds. My butthole is not comfortable. And i might've just ruined curly fries for life.